When one wakes up at three o'clock in the morning to one's child wandering out into the sitting room, and one notices said child is generously smeared with a dark, viscous substance, concentrated near her midsection ... what is one to do?
Particularly when said child had previously chosen to sleep on one's own plush-carpeted bedroom floor.
This writer suggests utilizing generous quantities of disinfectant, well-padded towels, and the scaldingly hot temperature setting on one's automatic washer. This writer also recommends that a tepid shower followed by the generous application of lather and a thorough scrubbing in a hot-water bath will remove all remnants of said substance from a child's skin and hair. Rubber washing gloves may be employed at one's own determination.
Furthermore, one may share one's travails with a well-chosen gathering of like-minded individuals. Upon completing one's recitation, one may gently encourage said audience to respond with affirmations and sympathetic communiques to restore one's spirit and strengthen one's inner being.
P.S. My daughter bounces next to me as I write this commenting, "Say 'pooh'! Say 'pooh'! Are you going to say 'pooh'?"