Top Ten Tuesday: Spam Subjects

I don't clean out my spam folder very often. Overall, Gmail does a pretty good job of figuring out which e-mails are actually for me and which just want to infect me with a virus or swindle me out of some cash. I do try to skim through the subjects before I trash the lot of them, though, as once in a while honest-to-goodness messages from friends get lost amidst the muck. Since I was reading them anyway, I thought I'd share some of the more amusing ones with you. My comments are in italics.

Top 10 Funniest E-mail Subjects

10. You passed me bad money
Sorry, next time I'll call a running play.
9. Thank you so much for your patience and good customer service
Does this mean I'm forgiven for the bad money thing?
8. The cause for that is that all our replica watches are crafted from one
I find it a bit odd that there's no mention of one WHAT.
7. Information for plastic card holders
Are those like the little photo holders that come with new wallets?
6. We are responsible for your satisfying health condition
Gee, I thought it was because I was eating better and exercising more. Silly me.
5. Important guys are funny here
Actually, I find many important guys funny, especially after a certain time of night and when introduced by Jay Leno.
4. Our best decision is suitable for every age
You tell me yours, and I'll tell you mine.
3. Get any soft you need without delays
It's funny, many of the subject lines said just the opposite ...
2. You do not risk at all
Riiiiight.
1. We do not throw the words just to fill your e-mail box
No, you're hoping to empty my bank account while you're at it. Thanks anyway.

If you want to play along, leave a link to your Top 10 list in the comments.

Top Ten Tuesday

I had always thought that humans were born with an instinctive understanding of common sense. Really, I should have known better. Please enjoy these conversational tidbits from the last few months.

Top 10 Explanations I Never Knew I'd Need

10. Why jelly beans don't have protein
9. Why we can't hang from the towel bar/shower rod/refrigerator door
8. Why the flashing red light on the "smoke protector" means it's keeping us safe
7. Why we need money in the bank before using the ATM/debit card -or- Why Daddy needs to keep going to work if we want to keep eating
6. Why we won't be going to Sunday school on Thursday
5. Why wrapping up in a blanket (instead of getting dressed and putting on a snowsuit) will not be warm enough to go outside in the below-zero cold
4. Why we shouldn't climb onto the bookcases/stove/washing machine
3. Why washing without soap will not get grease off our hands
2. Why we need to get more sleep when we're sick
1. Why it's not a good idea to take batteries out of the TV remote and chew on them

If you want to play along, leave a link to your Top 10 list in the comments.