Friday, January 16

Infertility and Me

I feel myself caught between worlds.

On the one hand, Adam and I have been officially "trying" for 2½ years now. Two pregnancies have both ended in miscarriage. Grief, loss, pain, hope; it's all in there.

Conversely, I have a wonderful little girl who is turning four next month. I have experienced pregnancy, birth, nursing, teething, the terrible twos, and more.

Though we've not been successful in bringing another baby into the world, we've chosen not to pursue additional medical treatments which might increase the odds of a little sister or brother for our daughter.

Still, we have an only child, yet our plan was never to have just one.

This all hit home to me yesterday while I was spending quality time with my daughter in the bathroom (I was there on business, she was just visiting). She gave me a big hug and poked me in the tummy, asking, "Do you have a baby in your belly?"

I just wanted to cry.

Instead, I hugged her back, choked back my tears, and we had a delightful conversation about babies not coming out from their mamies' belly buttons.


  1. Ah, Amy. I don't have any words of wisdom. I just couldn't read and not respond. Know that I have been where you are - it sucks. But I do believe it IS God's plan. We don't know why or how, but we can trust that ultimately it will be more awesome than we can imagine. Much love to you!

  2. I'm sorry Amy. I can't entirely relate but, well, halfway I guess. I know it's tough and I know it's not what you planned. Praying that the Lord will continue to give you peace about it, wherever He leads.


Sorry--I've had to close comments down because I've been getting so much spam.

Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.