I took my troubles to the Lord; I cried out to Him, and He answered my prayer.
Psalm 120:1, NLT
Anybody else have the tendency to cry out to your spouse, your kids, your mom, your friends, the blog-iverse at large ... basically everybody who can't answer your prayers? And, meanwhile, I'm so busy crying, I've forgotten to pray to the One who can actually change me.
Therein lies the real issue. I would much prefer not to change. No, I may not be happy with me. I may realize, intellectually, that growing in my own faith, hope, and charity would lead to greater life fulfillment. Yet, it's hard. Growing up requires that I put God first, and put others before myself, and *shudder* sacrifice. And I don't just mean in my grocery budget, but myself. My material comfort, my desire for financial security, even my need for sleep (especially when I'm the one who chose to stay up late finishing my book last night).
- Oh, the depth of the riches both of the wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable are His judgments and unfathomable His ways! For who has known the mind of the Lord, or who became His counselor? Or who has first given to Him that it might be paid back to him again? For from Him and through Him and to Him are all things. To Him be the glory forever. Amen.
Therefore I urge you ... by the mercies of God, to present your bodies a living and holy sacrifice, acceptable to God, which is your spiritual service of worship. (Romans 11:33-12:1, NASB)
We're called to wait on the Lord, not to wriggle away from Him. So, I'm learning more about sacrifice. Discovering what it means to grow up. Here I am, in this place, still.