Monday, December 11

Dry and Weary

I try to manage it every morning, but some days just take off with a speed of their own and what I try doesn't always make it to what I do.

What is "it" you ask? Why Bible reading with my daughter, of course. Lately it's been the most devotional time I've had. We've been working through the psalms one (and sometimes only part of one) per day.

A couple of days ago we hit Psalm 63. And when I say "hit" I mean as in "me, like a ton of bricks." Let me share some of my thoughts and responses to these powerful words.

I've often wondered about why God leaves us alone. Not theologically, I mean, He's promised never to leave us. Yet sometimes, He doesn't talk much. My prayers just seem to be drifting out there. God seems really far away.

David says, "I've worked up such hunger and thirst for God, traveling across dry and weary deserts." (v1)

It had never really occurred to me that maybe He just wants me to miss Him. To remember Him. To let absence (or perceived absence) make the heart grow fonder.

"So here I am in the place of worship, eyes open, drinking in Your strength and glory. In Your generous love I am really living at last! My lips brim praises like fountains. I bless You every time I take a breath; my arms wave like banners of praise to You." (v2-4)

That sure isn't the place I've been for the past several weeks. How is it that we understand the idea of discipline and continuing to do something whether or not we are emotionally invested when we're talking about reading the Bible, attending church or prayer meetings, but when it comes to worship and singing there seems to be this idea floating about that it's only "real" when I feel like it?

"If I'm sleepless at midnight, I spend the hours in grateful reflection." (v6)

Don't know about you, but I'm generally not grateful to be sleepless, whatever the hour. Sleep is a highly valued commodity here at our house. My first thought upon waking in the middle of the night generally isn't, "Praise God! More time to worship You." Perhaps it ought to be.

"Because you've always stood up for me, I'm free to run and play." (v7)

Isn't this the very picture of a confident child? I don't think I'm a confident princess (daughter of the King). I find that trust is often hard to come by and I feel weighed down by the cares of the life in this world, rather than free to play.

"But the king is glad in God; his true friends spread the joy..." (v11)

When strangers look at me, do they see joy in my face? Am I glowing and empowered by the work of God in my life? Am I spreading the joy, not just in this holiday season, but throughout the days and years of my life? Do people want to spend time with me? Do they want to know what makes me different? Am I different enough that people notice?


  1. Hello my love!
    I don't know about others, but you certainly bring and spread joy to me! It's also interesting to juxtapose the verse where David says he's "worked up such hunger and thirst for God", and the verse in the beatitudes that says, "Blessed are they who hunger and thirst for righteousness for they will be filled." Thank you for sharing!

  2. Amy, of course I mostly see you at church, but I don't think I've ever seen you without joy in your face!

    The princess/Daughter of the King image is one I have often chosen for myself too. I try to think, if I were the daughter of the king, living in his palace and raising his grandchildren (the metaphor does break down here, since they are his children too, not grandchildren, but still...), how would I speak to them??

    It helps, on the rare occasions that I remember to think this way!


  3. Awww. Thank you, Adam! That's sweet. Good point about the beatitudes, too. More food for thought (no pun intended).

    Jeanne, I'm glad I look joyful at church. And, it's nice to know I'm not the only one wondering "What would the princess do?"

  4. your thoughts echo some of what God's been asking me and showing me recently. c.s. lewis talks about Christ-followers being able to see other Christ-followers anywhere. often don't think i'd be very recognizable as a child of the King.

    but true joy seems like a great attitude to long for and seek. and as we spend time with Him (sometimes we aren't given too many other options for company ..), He gives us more of His Spirit and joy and presence. i'm glad for that. thanks for being another source for God to speak!

  5. Amy--

    This is a very beautiful expression of your thoughts and understandings. I have spent lots of time with Psalm 63, myself--you have a different translation from mine--NIV. Mine says (memory is bad here): "Because your love is better than life," I will praise you always. "I have seen you in the sanctuary, beheld your power and your glory" and so I will always have your name on my lips. Oooo that's so wonderful.

    Do you have Oswald Chambers' "My Utmost for His Highest"? If not, here is a link to today's entry; it is such a perfect word for a Christian, especially one who writes.


Sorry--I've had to close comments down because I've been getting so much spam.

Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.