Saturday, November 18

Leave Me Alone

Regular readers (it's so cool to know that some of you read my humble little thoughts regularly!) may have noticed a dearth of deep, insightful comments lately. I feel bad that I haven't been making any. Mostly, I've not been having many deep insightful thoughts. Just dealing with the day-to-day trying to get everything together and keep it that way.

For Adam's birhtday I got him a gift card to one of our favorite coffee spots. The real gift isn't so much the card, but that I'll be sending him off on his own several times to use it. We have an ongoing battle to each get enough time to ourselves in the midst of busyness.

Alone Time is a concept I never really thought about as a single woman. Very rarely was my life so full that I needed to take time out just to be with me. I'm more an extrovert than an introvert anyway, so generally spending time with people is energizing to me. And when I did need a moment to myself, I just closed my bedroom door and voilĂ  instant Alone Time.

Getting married, I thought, back before I was married, meant spending all your time together. I managed to cling to that illusion throughout our dating relationship because it seemed that was all Adam and I did as a couple, spending hours and hours together every evening, before reluctantly tearing ourselves away to go home, get some sleep, work a little, and wait impatiently for the time we could be together again.

Nobody told me to expect times I would want him to go away. I certainly never did. Expect it, I mean. When we were first married, Adam was unemployed, and I was working part time, so we spent nearly every waking hour, and all the sleeping ones, together. After a few weeks, I started feeling really upset and frustrated and I wasn't sure why. One day, it suddenly dawned on me. I was used to having big chunks of day, especially right before bed, when I spent time alone. And I hadn't been doing that since we'd gotten married. I thought it was a bad thing to want to be apart. Now, I recognize that, though God made us to live in community, that doesn't mean we are supposed to spend 24 hours a day, every day in their company.

Recently I was reading something (I'd link to what it was, if I could remember) that talked about Jesus taking off by himself to pray. The idea was that if Jesus needed Alone Time, surely the rest of us do, too.

So, I'd like to encourage myself and the rest of you, especially as we are entering the busy holiday season, take some time out. You don't need to spend it in Bible study and prayer (although those are good options, too) just get away from what you spend everyday doing and try to look at life from a new perspective. And when we come back, may we truly enter into the joy of the holy days.


  1. Wise words, woman!

    I feel so much calmer if I get Alone Time--much more frazzled if I don't.

  2. I remember this realization hitting me after I first got married. Your post was very full-of-thought. I could tell you had been chewing on it for a while. I like to go walking for time to myself. That was a good point about Jesus going away by himself to pray.

    blessings to you this busy of busy seasons!
    Jenny in Ca (I'm a regular reader...)

  3. Jenny,

    I know you're a regular reader. You're one of the ones I get all excited about! :) Thanks for reading (and commenting) regularly.


    Thank you!! Both for the "wise" and the "woman"--sometimes I feel like I'm not much older than Blondechick, despite being more than twice her age. Must be a youngest child thing.

  4. Good point. We need that alone time, and sometimes it's hard to get.


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