I really enjoy taking time once in a while to read through old journals I have kept. Sure, they contain a lot of nonsense, but scattered throughout are wonderful gems that speak to me again months and years later. I like to think that indicates brief glimpses of wisdom. Maybe it just means I don't learn my lessons well, and God needs to keep showing me the same things again and again. This evening, I was reading through a journal I kept in 2003. The following passage really stood out to me.
When I try and I try and I try to do what it is I just can't do, I despair that I'm not living up to my potential. Ooh--were scarier words ever invented? Just like an egg is a potential chicken, I feel like I'm a potential good person. If I could just try a little harder, do a little better; if I would just listen to what God is trying to teach me.
I give up on myself ... I was going to say, "I give up on myself way more than God does" or "I give up on myself long before God will," but neither of those is true, because God will never give up on me!
Even when I'm sitting at the bottom of the mud hole, God doesn't throw down a rope, tie it to a stick, and walk off, waiting for me to climb out. He climbs right down next to me, because He knows I will need a shoulder to cry on long before I will be prepared to get up and let Him lead me back to the verdant pasture.