I don't really know how to write about this. I've tried being witty, and it's simply falling flat. The reality is not funny. Surprising, unusual, unexpected, and leaving me feeling as though I ought better to know what to do next, yes. But funny, no.
A few days after my last post, I had a miscarriage. It wasn't until three days later that I recognized what had happened. Despite being reasonably competent in knowing how to chart my cycle, I had missed the subtle signs of a possible pregnancy.
I am left, for the moment, with nothing more than emptiness. I don't know what to feel or how to grieve this completely unexpected loss.
For now, I'm simply collecting. I'm collecting information. I'm collecting ideas. I'm collecting prayers and thoughts from my friends. In a few days or a few weeks, when I'm past the shock I keep falling back into, everything will at least be together waiting for me.