Ten Hundred Million Years

Rosi has a typically childish notion of time. That is to say, she really has no concept of how long an hour, a day, or a year is. When something hasn't happened soon enough to please her (generally the instant she suggests it), she'll complain that it's been hours or days or even "ten hundred million years" since she first asked and she can't possibly wait any longer.

After she made such a comment the other day in the car, I explained to Adam my theory as to why time moves so much faster for Rosi than for the rest of us: in her universe, everything revolves around her. Since she's so much smaller than the sun, it all goes by that much quicker.

Meanwhile, it's been positively forever since my last post. We've been doing our best to keep ourselves occupied here, so let me give you a bulleted list of what we're up to these days.

• I've been spending a lot of time cooking, thinking about cooking, reading about cooking, writing about cooking (I have 60+ recipes posted over at Low-Carb Real Food), and trying to take half-decent pictures of my food. And when I'm done with all that, I spend a few minutes eating and then the kitchen has to be cleaned up all over again. Cooking three meals a day at home makes for a lot of dishes!
• Ever since I made the doll for my contest winner a couple of years ago, I've been wanting to make another and work out my own pattern. I even went so far as to buy yarn for the project a few months back. Then I got caught up doing other things, and I've only gotten back to it the last week or so. As best I can figure, I'm about halfway done. I've also run out of stuffing, so I need to make a run to the store before I can finish any further. Originally, this doll was meant to be for Rosi, but she'd been begging for another doll who would close its eyes when lying down. We found one for 25¢ at a garage sale over the summer and it's been well loved by both the kids. Since Rosi has a new-to-her doll, I decided that once I finish this one, it will be for Ian. I'm shooting to make it a birthday gift, which means I have about 2½ months to complete the doll and make it some clothes.
• I've been homeschooling Rosi to a greater or lesser degree for about two years now. We've tried a few different educational philosophies, but the one we keep returning to is unschooling, or interest-led learning. I really felt like I was trying too hard last year, pushing her when she didn't need any pushing. This year, I decided we really needed some support and community in the homeschooling arena. A couple of weeks ago, we joined a local homeschool group. we've gotten together with them for a couple of activities already and it's been a lot of fun. I'm really excited about what's coming up in the next several months. Rosi is too. It's been difficult for her to maintain friendships when she doesn't see kids at school everyday. A few of our neighbors have kids, but most of them are younger. The one friend her own age that she'd made in our building moved out several months ago. We also haven't had a regular church we've been attending, so that hasn't been a viable avenue for ongoing friendships either.
• And speaking of churches, we actually visited one this morning that we'd all like to go to again. The people were welcoming, the message was solid and timely, the music was good, and I was really happy with the way they handled communion. I've been less than impressed with the way children are so often overlooked when it comes to communion. I understand that families and denominations have differing beliefs about who can take communion. But, in practice, I am very uncomfortable with the way my kids have been treated when we've visited some churches and have brought them up for communion. It is very rare to find a communion "policy" noted in the bulletin or announced during the service. At the church we worshiped in this week, however, the pastor invited the congregation to participate and noted that each family should determine whether their children should receive the bread and wine. One of the things I loved most about our church in Illinois was the recognition that we all don't agree on a lot of theological points--and that's okay. The Church is big enough for people to hold different ideas about baptism or communion or speaking in tongues. Those issues are not actually central to the Gospel and they shouldn't be treated as if they were. I'm excited to find someplace that makes a point of that right in the service.
• Ian is having his own version of interest-led learning. You might call it "toilet unschooling." For the past month or so, he's been pretty frequently asking to use the toilet. He's also gotten really remarkable in the way he can undress himself and take a diaper off, even when he's snapped into a bodysuit. So, I've mostly given up on trying to keep him dressed. I insist that he wear a diaper when we're out or while he's sleeping, but most of the time he spends the majority of his day running around the house without any clothes on. He uses the toilet more than not, and for those times when he doesn't quite make it, I keep a spray bottle of cleaner and a roll of paper towels handy. As an added bonus, I figure he's probably saved us about $15 in diapers so far.

Well, that's not everything we've been up to, but that's probably enough for one post. I will try to start updating with a little more frequency again. Maybe I can manage to post more like once a week rather than once a month. For now, I'm going to go catch up on some sleep!

Darndest-isms

Amusements from our house over the past couple of days.

Rosi: Can we go for a drive?
Mamie: Tell you what, if you clean up all of your toys in the living room, we can go out for a little drive and pick up some food for dinner.
Rosi: Okay.

Later, after Mamie has reached the limit of her frustration tolerance, but the room has not yet been cleaned.
Mamie: Go get your shoes on; we’re going out.
Rosi: To get food?
Mamie: Yes.
Rosi: But I didn’t clean up.
Mamie: I know.
Rosi: Are you giving me grief?
Mamie: Do you mean giving you grace?
Rosi: No, a lot of times you say, “You’re giving me grief.”

The next day, after Adam has take over supervising the clean up.
Adam: You have 5 seconds to get this in the trash before drastic measures are taken.
Rosi: Before what is taken?
Adam: Before drastic measures are taken.
Rosi: Before my plastic what is taken?

• • • •

Ian has started really showing us his displeasure. He doesn't usually cry or scream, unless he's particularly overtired or hungry, but what he does just makes me smile. This morning, for instance, he was reaching for my phone on the desk. He made the sign for phone, his way of asking me to hand it to him. I said, "No," and moved it out of his reach. He glared at me and stomped his little foot on the floor before walking away to find another toy.

Here Comes the Sun

A few nights ago we were out driving just as the sun started to head down some scattered clouds.

As we stopped for a red light, Rosi pointed out her window and cried, all excited:

Look, over there! I see sun stripes!

That's My Girl

Rosi got a book and CD set of Disney's Beauty and the Beast at the library today. She insisted on starting it on the drive home and has heard it at least twice since we've arrived. She was still listening when I went in to put Ian down for his nap.

After I'd come out of the bedroom, she asked, "Did you know that Beauty came to my house?"

"Did she?" I replied.

She nodded, adding, "And we played football!"

Did Someone Say "Swimming?"

We decided to go for a family swim the other day. Much giggling ensued.

Ian has recently become very interested in shoes. Whenever one of us leaves our shoes out (usually Rosi, but sometimes Mamie or Daddy), he climbs into them and tries to stomp around the house. His favorites are a pair of Rosi's red flip-flops that he can put on and take off all by himself. He has his own pair of flip-flops, so we decided to try them out on our way to the swimming pool. He put them on all by himself, can you tell?

We got Rosi a mask and snorkel after she'd borrowed a mask from one of our neighbors and just adored it. She's even taught herself to swim with the mask on. She insisted on wearing the complete set to the pool, but was having a little trouble getting everything lined up properly on her face. After a frustrated huff, she exclaimed,

Can't somebody help me with my snort hole?

What's the 2nd Greatest Commandment?

Somebody (I can't remember who anymore) gave us a book of Bible stories that came with a CD of children's songs. Rosi has taken to listening to the CD whenever we'll allow it.

Now, generally, I hate to limit her time singing and praising God, but this collection, while biblically based, tends a bit more toward insipid than inspiring. I try to listen with just half an ear while reminding myself that it's certainly a joyful noise unto the Lord.

Rosi was singing one of these songs in the car this morning and, once I identified the tune, didn't listen very closely. Then I caught a fragment of lyric and thought, "Wait, that's not right!"

I put on my listening ears and chuckled to myself as she sang her own version of a ditty about loving your neighbor.

The original words are:

La la la la la la la
Love your neighbor as yourself

Rosi's version went:

La la la la la la la
La, your neighbor has your stuff

When I told Adam about it later, he laughed and asked, "Does that make it okay, then, to covet your neighbor's things?"

Spoon ... er ... ism

This post is written especially for my friend Gabi, who I know will be amused by it.

For everybody else, you're welcome to stay, but be aware, this is one of those bodily-fluid, baby-feeding, earthy natural posts. If that sort of thing bothers you, get out now. You can come back in a day or two and read a nice post about baking cookies.

As you may recall, I had some problems with breastfeeding each of my children and had to supplement with formula for both of them. With Rosi, an undiagnosed case of postpartum depression made it extremely difficult for me to keep up nursing once we added formula. She was weaned by six months. Ian, on the other hand, is still not weaned. He started solid foods almost eight months ago and hasn't had any formula in several weeks, but he's still breastfeeding a few times a day.

Lately, he's been getting really interested in utensils and how to eat with them. For the last month or so, he'll grab a spoon and just tote it around as he goes about his business. We've started calling it his "security spoon."

The other morning Ian was holding on to his security spoon and he asked to nurse. I pulled him up into my lap. Rather than immediately latching on, he looked speculatively at me for a moment, then raised his spoon.

Catching on, I gently pushed his hand away, telling him, "No, you cannot breastfeed with a spoon."

Amy, Birth; Birth, Amy

Adam and I were talking about a coworker of his whose baby was born this week. He mentioned that she'd had a c-section. I wondered aloud whether that may have been a consequence of her labor being induced. He confirmed that she had been induced the day before surgery.

Rosi was sitting beside me, listening to our exchange. After a moment, she turned and asked, "Mom, were you introduced when you borned Ian?"

The Rosi Show

My daughter thinks she's on her own television reality show most of the time. I'll find her all alone in a room explaining to her imaginary audience how to dance, the sound of the letters "sh" or some other random educational tidbit.

Sometimes, she even has her facts straight.

This morning, I overheard her segments on crying:

Crying means sad. And sad means crying.

And the purpose of blinking:

When you close your eyes and open them that's called blinking. You do that to keep your eyes clean and watered.

I See Dead People

This one is especially for my friends who wear a clerical collar--literally or metaphorically. Happy Clergy Appreciation Month!

We were driving past a cemetery in town recently, and Rosi pointed to it.

"Is that the park for dead people?" She asked.

"Yes," I told her. "It's called a cemetery. Can you say that word?"

"S-s-seminar."

I chuckled at the thought of seminars chock full of parked dead people ... hmmm, maybe that's not so far fetched after all ...

"Not 'seminar,' Sweetie, 'cemetery.'"

"That's what I said," she insisted.

"Oh, well maybe I misheard. Can you pronounce it for me again? Ce-me-te-ry."

"Okay." Deep breath, "Seminary!"

Because It's All Ancient History When You're Five

We were driving past a construction site near our house where they're building a pharmacy. I noticed a new sign announcing that the store would be open in a few months and pointed it out to the rest of the family. Rosi asked what it meant.

"It means they'll be done building soon and the Lewis will open up," I told her. "That's what the pharmacy is called."

"State Farm?"

"No," I laughed. "Pharmacy. It's where you go to buy medicine if you're sick."

"Or other stuff," Adam added.

"It's like Walgreens," I tried to relate it to something she knew.

"Except this one is called Lewis," Adam told her. "Like Lewis and Clark."

Rosi considered for a moment, then she asked, "Don't you mean Noah's Ark?"

A Swing and a Miss

While on our way to pick Adam up from work this evening, Rosi pointed to a red sign on the corner and asked what it said. Given that there were only 4 letters, I asked her to sound it out.

Rosi: Sss-Teh-Ohh-Peh ... Ope! It says, "Ope"!

Amy: Let's try again. What's the third letter?

Rosi: O

Amy: And what sound does O make?

Rosi: Oh.

Amy: What other sound does O make?

Rosi: Umm ...

Amy: What words do you know that start with O?

Rosi: Octopus!

Amy: And what sound does O make in "Octopus"?

Rosi: Oh.

Amy: No. It's not "OAK-to-pus" is it?

Rosi: (giggles) Ah.

Amy: That's right. O-ah-octopus. Now can you try it again? S-T-O-P.

Rosi: Sss-Teh-Ohh-Peh.

Amy: What sound does the O make?

Rosi: Oh, I forgot. Sss-Teh-Ahh-Peh. (thinks for a moment) It says, "Exit"!

The Digital Gap

We're working our way through a free trial of Netflix this month. Rosi has been asking to see more movies through their instant online viewer, so I queued up Jetsons: The Movie for us to watch together.

As it loaded, she asked me what it was. I told her it was a cartoon. I also mentioned that it was something I used to watch when I was about her age.

"Did you watch it on this site?" She asked.

"No," I replied. "They didn't have the internet when I was your age."

"Oh," she responded. "Did you watch it on Hulu?"

What Did One Volcano Say to the Other?

Adam was reading this riddle to Rosi tonight. She thought for a moment, then answered, confidently, "It's ten o'clock!"

(For the record, the answer was supposed to be "I 'lava' you.")

It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like the Ice Planet Hoth

Greetings from the Rebel Base!

We've been under winter weather warnings for the past two days and there's now a blizzard warning in effect through noon tomorrow. Interstates 29 and 90 have been closed through most of the state since 7:00 last night. Snow accumulations are predicted to be up to 20 inches, with drifts up to 6 feet. When they start measuring the snow in feet, I'm on the lookout for AT-ATs.

**This officially ends all the Star Wars references. I don't want to have to look anything else up on Wookieepedia**

Because of the heavy snow, we canceled our Christmas Eve plans to drive through town munching on caramel corn and looking at the holiday lights. Rosi was very disappointed.

We are still planning a Christmas Day carol sing around the piano. She's been learning a number of songs lately--mostly from me, but a few of unknown origin (somebody taught her Jingle Bells, but it wasn't me). Her latest favorite is "Arthur Harold Angels Sing" or as she calls it, "Glowy to the Newborn King."

Meanwhile, we're getting our traditional Christmas chicken ready along with garlic mashed potatoes and green bean casserole. The baby is asleep and Rosie is munching on oranges that arrived yesterday by FedEx, fresh from my sister's tree in Phoenix.

Merry Christmas to all!

Feeling Out of Touch With the Next Generation

Rosi and I were spending some of our school time practicing letters and their corresponding sounds at Starfall. One of the example words for Q is "question" and the image is of a girl standing at a crossroads surrounded by question marks.

I pointed out the punctuation and asked Rosi if she knew what it meant.

"Uh-huh," she answered, distractedly, still focused on the exercise. "It means 'help.'"

Maybe she's been spending a little too much time on the computer lately.

A New Breed

It's days like these I really miss our camera. You'll just have to imagine there's a picture here of little hands holding a white stuffed critter with a red nose and blue antlers, all dressed for winter weather.

My daughter came up to me holding a small stuffed animal she'd pulled out of a box in the closet.

"See this bear?" She asked.

"Actually, he's a reindeer," I told her.

"Reindeer?" She uncertainly repeated.

"See the antlers?" I pointed them out to her. "Those make him a reindeer."

She takes a moment to stare at the animal before making a pronouncement of her own, "I think he's a snow deer. He's wearing a scarf and mittens. He's a snow deer."

Green Face and Red Fish

With the sickness that has continued to linger at our house, we haven't had the health or energy to go play outside or hang out by the pool. In fact, we've spent a whole lot of time staring blankly at the television. As a measure to increase the interactivity, I've been letting my daughter spend some time playing online games. She now has four buttons of her very own on my menu bar. The games are mostly educational (but that can be our little secret, right?), though a few of them are just for fun.

She has so enjoyed her game time, I thought I'd share the sites we've been visiting.

• Starfall.com teaches basic phonics and reading skills though games, songs, and interactive storybooks.
• Poisson Rouge (aka Red Fish Soup) offers a wide selection of games in multiple languages.
• JellyTelly is already familiar to you if you've read my blog for awhile. In addition to the Bible stories and silly videos, they have a whole page of games, many of which are easier versions of popular online arcade games (so, ahem, parents might really like them, too).
• PBSKids is our most recent addition to the menu bar. The games feature popular characters from the TV shows. My daughter seems to enjoy them even though she doesn't watch most of the shows, though.

Because she doesn't read yet, my daughter refers to most of the sites by their icon: a star for Starfall, a red fish for Poisson Rouge, a jellyfish for JellyTelly, and a green face for PBS Kids. I must admit, it's a little off-putting to be in the middle of an e-mail and have her pop up beside me begging, "Can I play on the green face?"

My Overthinking Process

Now that we have a new little Gray on the way (hey, that rhymes!), I thought it would be appropriate to go ahead and name my daughter on the blog. Since I don't want to use her actual name, I thought I'd come up with a nice pseudonym for her.

I tried to figure out what sort of name I'd want to give her, whether it would have any connection to her real name, and if so, what? After brainstorming and discarding a dozen names, I decided to choose a name that had a similar meaning to my daughter's name.

As we have several baby-naming books handy (I've discovered I own three of them), I flipped through and looked at some of the names. I picked out one I particularly liked. It fit with the meaning of my daughter's name, and I had some nickname options. I love nicknames. It was all decided. I would call my daughter "Lucia" or "Lucie" for short. I was happy with my decision, until I had this sudden brainstorm ... I wondered what my daughter thought about this name. I asked her.


I: Do you like the name Lucie?
She: No.
I: You don't think that's a pretty name?
She: No.
I: So, you wouldn't like it if I called you "Lucie" for pretend on my blog?
She: No.
I: Oh. (pause) What name do you like?
She: (mumbles a name)
I: Callie?
She: No! Khalil, from Jonah.
I: Oh.
She: You can call me Khalil for pretend on your blog.
I: Hmmm ...

I'm not really sure I can do that. Maybe I'll try another day and see what name she wants to be called then. Meanwhile, I guess she's still nameless.

Tub Toys

My daughter recently decided that she did not have enough selection among her bathtub playthings. Unfortunately, she chose to remedy that situation on her own. Despite my attempts to explain the properties which make good bath toys, she hasn't quite gotten the message. So, I started a list of of items she is forbidden to take into the tub.

1. Baby dolls or stuffed animals
2. Bandages (actually, she's not supposed to play with these at all, but a reminder never hurts)
3. Books or paper of any kind
4. Cans, bottles, or anything taken from the recycling bin
5. Clothing, hats, purses, or shoes
6. Dishes, clean or dirty
7. DVDs
8. Food
9. Paints
10. Remote controls or any toys with batteries

While I was at it, I made a list of approved toys for her bath.

1. Boats, captains, and boat dock
2. Football
3. Miniature frisbee
4. Pail and shovel
5. Plastic fish, alligator, and bird
6. Rubber duckies
7. Schoolhouse sorting toy
8. Washcloth (but just ONE)

Also, I'm still looking for comments describing what you love about parenting. If you haven't left one yet, please check out this post for details.