Further Thoughts on the Cold

The McDonald's near our house is offering a special deal right now: buy one burger at regular price and get a second for the temperature at noon yesterday. I'm not sure what the temperature was at noon today, but I'm pretty sure it's stayed below zero all day.

Do you suppose that means they'd pay me to get a second burger tomorrow?

Do You Suppose They'd Want to Know?

Well, it's been quite the afternoon at the Gray household. A three-post day doesn't happen too often around here. We now join your regularly unscheduled program, already in progress.

I was on my way down the hallway past my daughter's room. She jumped in front of me to stand with her arms across the doorway.

"Don't come in here," she announced. "Don't play with me."
I laughed, "That's a new one."
"What?" She scrunched up her nose in confusion.
"Usually," I explained, "you're pulling me into your room wanting to play. This time you're barring the door telling me to stay out."

I should have been suspicious by then, but I was on my own errand. A few minutes later the warning bells in my brain finally kicked in.

"Why didn't you want me in your room?" I asked my daughter.
Silence.
"Did you pee in your bedroom?"
"And pooh."
"What!?!"

I ran to her doorway. Sure enough, a slightly squished pile of brown goo was on her carpet. I imagined it steaming, but it wasn't really. Thanking God once again for the inventor of rubber gloves, I cleaned up the mess for a second time in two weeks. We ran out of my go-to cleanser, Formula 409 the last time, so I tried some Easy-Off BAM.

The bottle promises to cut grease on any number of surfaces, but doesn't mention anything about carpets or bodily waste. Which led me to wonder, if I wrote a letter to the Easy-Off people, would they add this use to the label?

They Call This "Customer Service"?

Once upon a time, back in December 2002, I wanted to have a cell phone. I'd never had one before, so I went online to research. I compared service plans available in my area, I looked at different phones, and I chose to go with T-Mobile. Conveniently, there was a T-Mobile store on my way home from work.

I stopped in one evening and the saleswoman was quite helpful in getting me all signed up for service and showing me the options for free phones. I was so excited to be joining the wireless age!

For nearly 6 years I loved their service. I told anyone who asked that T-Mobile was a great company and I was so happy with them I'd never considered another provider. What impressed me the most was their excellent customer service. A few years back, they even helped me lower my monthly bill by switching to a different plan. Unfortunately, they seem to have changed their standards lately.

I was a bit bummed when we moved to Sioux Falls because T-Mobile doesn't offer coverage here. We were able to use our phones, but only because everything was forwarded through local companies. Our plan was to stay with T-Mobile until the contract ran out next fall, then switch to a company that provided regional coverage for South Dakota.

Meanwhile, Adam got a list of employee discounts for which he is eligible from work. We were pleased to find that one of the companies offering a corporate discount was T-Mobile.

Early last month, we called to add the 15% off discount code to our plan. Two-and-a-half hours and half a dozen representatives later, the discount was applied to our account in about five minutes. When Adam asked what the company would do for us to make up for the fact that they wasted the entire afternoon with their crummy customer service, he was transferred to yet another representative, this time in the Customer Relations department. She offered him 600 extra minutes which would expire in 90 days (mind you, we weren't even using the minutes included in our plan as it was--for this to be beneficial, we'd have to spend an extra 45 HOURS on the phone over the next three months) or a $5 "courtesy refund."

Adam suggested we would like a month of service for free or perhaps have our contract ended now so that we could sign up for a company that has local service. This was when we discovered that our contract had been extended for an additional two years, without our knowledge, as a part of the discount sign-up process. Adam explained our situation of having just moved and not having T-Mobile coverage in this area. The woman gave him an address to send a letter with this same information and a date to terminate our service.

We've mailed our letter and, so far, have only received a one notice marked "Final Bill." I'm not so sure we're in the clear yet, though. My brother and sister got the very same advice from T-Mobile when they moved here almost a year ago. They mailed and faxed their information multiple times, as requested. Still, they are arguing with the company over the response they received: a bill for several hundred dollars in contract termination fees.

On the plus side, we've now had almost a full month of service with Verizon and have yet to encounter any problems. Our phones get better reception, there is a big store right at the mall if we have any concerns, and with the 22% discount we get through Adam's work, our monthly phone bill is lower. And, as my sister put it, "At least with the Network following you around, you won't get lonely there."

My Office

We don't have any extra rooms in our house for me to have a home office. Instead, I work from the corner of my living room. I have my desk set up so that I'm facing the sliding glass door with my back to the kitchen. I can oversee my daughter if she is playing on the couch or watching TV or sitting at her own little table across the room.

On the one hand, it's a little crazy-making to not have my own defined space to work, especially when Adam and our daughter are both in the living room talking and playing and laughing. On the other hand, I think if I were holed away off in my own little room, I might actually miss everybody. Maybe someday I can have my own little alcove. Separate but equal ... no, wait ... gone, but not forgotten?

Whatever it is, it would be nice to have just a little more break between my work and my family, especially when I'm coding. Some days, I just have to wait until I've put my daughter to bed before I can get any work done. Were I in a completely separate space, though, I'd miss being a part of things out in the common room.

I've noticed I feel this way a lot, not just about working. Periodically, life gets really overwhelming. I get stuck in my life and just want to get away and do things differently for a while. About this time, wonderful husband usually asks me if I want to have some alone time. So, I go away for a few hours, relax, read a book, think some thoughts all on my own, do some (window) shopping. After this refresher, I suddenly realize that I miss being with my family. I want to see Adam and our daughter playing together. I want to be a part of the tickle fights. I remember, once again, why I wanted to be married and have kids in the first place.

Only Mostly Dead

My printer must be on strike. Ever since Adam printed out all of his novel notes for NaNoWriMo, she hasn't been wanting to print anything else.

I fed her ink, black and color; I've opened her top to peer at her innards; but nothing. I tried unplugging her from the wall. That got me three pages, but now she's not working again.

I really wish I knew what the problem was. The printer thinks there is a paper jam. She keeps flashing the error code at me, telling me to clear the jam, then press the start button. I try that. She sputs and starts and rolls her rollers before making a halfhearted attempt to feed a new sheet. She won't grab on to one, though, and starts flashing the jam code again.

Maybe there is something I can clean or adjust? I checked out her user manual online (since I lost the paper copy almost immediately after connecting the printer), but it just told me to clear the paper and if it was still giving me problems, call the customer service center. I'd really rather not do that unless I have to. "Customer Service" generally isn't.

Speaking of which, Adam finishes the customer service section of his training next week. He brought home another 100% on a quiz they took. Yay!! Apparently, not everyone in his class passed the quiz (passing is 85%). He told me he didn't understand how anyone could miss so many, as it's mostly common sense. I reminded him of all the helplines we've called over the years that connected us with reps who have been anything but helpful.

"And these people," I pointed out, "are the ones who passed the training!"

Maybe we should open our own customer service school. Really, if you are with a company that has excellent customer service, aren't you that much more loyal? And if they have horrible service, won't you look to choose a different brand next time?

We could make millions.

When the Nobel People Come Calling

I was thinking the other day as I shared about my unreal viral award, what would I do if I were offered a real award? Particularly one with money attached, like the million-dollar purse that comes with the Nobel Prizes. How would I spend a million dollars?

Well, first I'd give a bunch to the church (or is it the Church? to those people sharing God's love in practical ways with those in need). That would take care of the first two or three hundred thousand. After that I'd probably pay off debts for myself and my family. That's probably another $100,000 there, and I'd still have $600,000 to go.

I'd buy a house, I suppose, and a new car or two, bringing me down to about $300,000. After that, I think I would finance Adam's restaurant that he'd love to open, which would probably take up the rest.

How would you spend $1,000,000 if you had the chance?

Bragging

There are a lot of different ways to complain about husbands. Probably at least as many ways to complain about wives, too, so I don't really want to go there. Instead, I'm going to borrow a phrase from my time in the South and brag on my husband!

I've mentioned before that Adam is a classically trained pianist. He also does a lot of musical theater. Well, he did a lot more before we were married and had a kid, but I digress.

Adam started last month as the music director for a local theater production of Little Shop of Horrors. He got this job seemingly out of the blue. Again. Since we've been together, he can't darken the doorway of a theater without getting himself a job offer. He's just that good.

As I mentioned, he did quite a bit of work with musicals before we were together. The year we dated, he didn't do any. Shortly after we got married, I saw a notice for a play I'd been wanting to see. It happened to be at a theater where he'd done several shows in the past. While we were there, we ran into a few of his former stage-mates (show-mates? what do you call people with whom you perform?). One directer even mentioned that he'd tried to get in touch with Adam for a production he was working on that fall, but he didn't have a current phone number.

Fast forward a couple of months: the first musical of the season is beginning rehearsals. The music director is going out of town and is looking for a vocal director to come in and teach the cast their parts. Adam is called. He swoops in and saves the day!

Okay, maybe it wasn't quite that dramatic, but still ....

Then there are some political issues between the music director and the owner of the theater. He is kicked off the show and told not to return. Only, he's supposed to be working on the next production as well.

Remember that director we'd run into in the spring? He called Adam and asked him to step in. Another job he got, just for showing up.

After our daughter was born, I asked Adam to cut down on his theater involvement as it required so much time away from home (often 4-5 nights a week for 4 months at a time). I knew he missed it, though, and I never figured it would be something he'd be away from forever. He didn't do any shows for about 2½ years.

The first of this year, he started working with an insurance provider as an independent contractor. One of the suggestions in starting to build your client base (in any business) is to call on everyone you know and find out who may be interested in the goods or services you can provide.

In putting together a list of possible contacts, Adam thought of a couple old theater buddies who owned their own businesses. He didn't have the number for one of them, so he made a call to the theater, asking for contact information.

Within a week, he got a call from the producer of Little Shop with yet another job offer.

Works for Me: Résumé Red Flags

My tips today are especially pertinent for anyone on the job hunt. I was recently reading through a training manual written for HR professionals. I found the section on interviewing potential employees particularly intriguing.

Here are the top seven things your interviewer has been instructed to watch for on your résumé:

1. Poor spelling, typos, and grammatical errors
   A prospective employer will assume this is your best work. Always use the spell-check feature, but also have several other pairs of eyes looking out for mistakes. As the saying goes, you do not get a second chance to make a first impression.
   
2. Several stretches of unemployment
   Most of us have been unemployed once or twice. Some even for many months at a time. But if you have more than one or two significant breaks in your job history over the past 10 years, you may not look like a particularly desirable candidate.
   
3. Listing of qualifications without paid work experience
   If most or all of the relevant experience you have is volunteer work, it will not be considered as highly as previous employment. While in some ways, I consider this a form of employment snobbery (I have certainly held volunteer jobs that required a lot more effort and attention than some of my paid positions), it is a fact that generally volunteers are afforded a much greater level of flexibility and freedom than paid workers.
   
4. Many jobs in unrelated fields or multiple jobs within a short period of time
   Job hoppers (as these individuals have been termed) may not have much loyalty to an employer, or perhaps there is some uncertainty about what they like to do or where their strengths lie. Or perhaps you are just interested in many fields or have made some poor choices in the past. An interviewer will be trying to determine whether you are worth the risk to employ and train.
   
5. Vague descriptions of responsibilities or achievements
   A prospective employee who is vague about his or her previous work may not have done very much worth elaborating, or perhaps is trying to conceal a job that was not as impressive as its title. Be specific about what you did, and especially how your work benefited the company. Whenever possible, use numbers (e.g., "Supervised 7 employees" or "Increased revenue 23% in one year").
   
6. Work experience that is disproportionate with level of education
   While it is certainly possible for individuals with little formal education to achieve great success in business, sadly, it is not nearly as common as people padding their résumés in hopes of finding a better, higher paying job. Make sure you list the qualifications which allowed you to advance above what might be expected of someone with your education.
   
7. References from companies which are no longer in business
   Many of us have had a previous employer close its doors. However, when the majority of your employment history is comprised of companies which no longer exist, an interviewer may wonder if you are trying to keep him or her from checking your references. In the case that several of your former employers have gone out of business, be sure to have several business references available for potential employers to choose from, such as previous managers in their new positions.
   

While in most cases, one of these items (or even a few of them together) should not keep you from being considered, you should be prepared to answer questions on anything that may look sketchy to a potential employer.

For more tips to improve your life, visit Rocks in My Dryer.

P.S. Anybody know how to edit my blog template so that the bullet images show up for unnumbered lists only? I got it!